I'm a published author!!

MY BIG FAT BOOK RELEASE!!!!!!!

I've been trying to find myself for years . . . and I did it! I found myself!

Just go to Amazon.com, type in "Holly Lorincz" and there I am!

If so, here's the Kindle version of my first novel, SMART MOUTH.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00C2CIIGM

Or if you're a Nook/Sony/Kobo/Apple IPad kinda' reader, check out

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/299945

Smart Mouth is all about a twenty-something trying to figure out how to be an adult while at the same time saddled with a rag-tag speech team who needs a strong leader. No, the book is not about me. But, yes, I did use my own experiences as a creative tool. No, the book is not about you. Legally, I have to tell you that. Ha ha, no really, all the characters are fictitious, despite what you might think . . . ENJOY!

P.S. The Nook version may not be available from the distributor until early next week. 

Step 3 -- beat on each other with lightsabers at 6:45

Auggie's first sleepover is this Saturday. Seven seven-year-old farting machines. Why start small? Here's what the invitation looks like:

TIME: 6 PM - 9 AM, SATURDAY

PLACE: AUGGIE'S HOUSE 

PHONE: HOLLY 503 xxx / ANDRE 503 xxx

DRESS: SWEATS or STAR WARS COSTUME

BRING: SLEEPING BAG, PILLOW, SWIM TRUNKS, PJ'S, TOOTH BRUSH, A SUBMISSIVE ATTITUDE, and A HELMET (seriously); PRESENTS ARE OPTIONAL AND SHOULD BE CHEAP!!

THE PLAN :
Corndogs, carrots and cupcakes at 6 pm
Open presents at 630
Beat on each other with lightsabers at 645
Splash all the water out of the hottub at 715
Silently watch Star Wars movie at 740
Politely listen to Walter the Farting Dog at 900
Sleep solidly, without moving, from 915 -830
Pancakes at 830 am
Parents pick up kids at 9
Espresso and Captain Crunch served to remaining kids at 915

P.S.
I need all of your phone numbers so that I can call you when your child bleeds on my carpet or whacks someone purposefully in the face or tries to crawl in bed with me. Seriously. If you don't answer, I will call the fire department and tell them there is a fire at your house. That should wake you up.